Why did you have to repeat the history again? How can you not know that friendship is so important to me and still, repeatedly, say things like "Ending the friendship" so easily again and again. I cried last nite (this mrng) again... I'm behaving more and more like a cry-baby lately.
"It's the end", "I'm not gonna worry abt anything frm tonite onwards. Just wanna say thanks for everything :)", "It's not anybody fault...wat r friends for?" and "friendship ends now" and "don't call me if the two of them are with you the next time".
Meimei and I didn't want to trouble you mah. So plotted to leave secretly to cab hme esp since u guys were alr so near hme...
Why can't you guys be understanding for our motive of doing so? When u guys got angry without even letting us explain and wanting us to understand why u guys were angry... Why can't u guys think in our perspective too?
Meimei cried last nite again. She said she can't believe so many things keep happening lately. She's so so so so very very very tired about them. She just broke down while talkng to me. Still dare to say things like "If I disappear, everything can be solved, I'll disappear then" to her lao gong. Making all of us abit paranoid and concern for her. So so so so many things happened ytd. I oso can't believe I lost control of my temper and emotions and broke down last nite over the phone... I cried for so long... My EQ's lowering and lowering itself. Damn... Lyk wad u've said "I'm sorry. How can I make a person who's always so strong, cry today?"Haix.... I juz can't easily treat things like a joke or take things (friendship) for granted. Thinking u're juz joking and saying things cuz u were juz angry, and make myself think/believe tt u wun be angry for long etc. I'm scared, when it comes to losing any friendship... The last time u've seen me cried, it's because of similar matters as well... because of tt "petty" guy. Why can't u be a lil more sensitive and prevent urself frm saying such things. I lied. I'm sorry. i juz rmbered I did cried because of you b4 last nite's too. But u know, I can't not be feeling bad for making the others guilty and self-reproach. I'd rather take all the blames. Juz like ytd. After I calmed down, I felt so embarrassed for crying... :(
I felt even even more guilty when u owned up that you were really really very angry and so drove home quite recklessly... speeding and all... DAMN! Wad hv I done? I was thinkin ytd... WAD IF sth really happened to you? Touch wood... but how can u risk ur life for this? As much as you always like to say things like "Why shld u be crying n be upset for somebody like me? It's not worth it." Then why am I worth it for you to b this angry n for u to risk ur life? CRAZY, aren't you?
How I wish this will be a good lesson and no more similar things will happen nxt time... Four of us were so tortured.
最近有想要发泄, 要大哭一场的冲动... 所以又从新把<恶作剧2吻>弄出来看... 每次都会如此. 不是这一部, 就是<一公升眼泪>了... 感到身心疲惫,好累啊~
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Had lunch wif him. Since sum1's mouth stink last nite, swearin that he will make time for me to hv lunch... Ate at PRIME Mrkt area. (: Ate porridge and he ate Mixed Vege Rice and his fav chix floss cheese pancake. Whole lunch was sayin RIP RIP RIP! Crazy guy. -_-
He knew I'm a lil pissed over tt RIP thingy tt cums out of his stinky mouth so so so often today. We had a small row after I reached back at my hse dwnstairs. We were saying abt some things then I juz got off the car and said "Don't know who promised me that he won't be angry with me one. Can be angry with anybody but won't angry with you de lar..." So wad's last nite abt? U were so angry with me... tt level of anger tt's unimaginable. Every1's shocked. haix... actually, i'm partially joking. Angry then angry lor. Better than hidding anything from me. I'm gg to hate the latter more than anything else... Duno wad's wrong today... Most likely the post effects of last nite's bah. I'm loosing my voice and my eyes are so swollen now.... :( I will still try to study nwaex... as promised to myself and to you. I wanted to keep this. There's not much time left to stay stagnant... Stay unprogressed on the original spot... while everyone's alr moving on and start writing their new chapter... :)
Jiayou to myself! ^^
